So, for a family day, Hollie, Josh, and I went to see Rob Zombie’s LORDS OF SALEM (yeah, I know – weird family). This movie was subtle and definitely not what I expected from a splatterporn director. The surprise was well-received. Now on to the review….
Suspense earns this little flick an easy A. As I said in the opening, this Rob Zombie creation actually relies on plot and characterization to move the film forward. The pacing, possibly considered slow by HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES fans, keeps the “creep” factor tickling the hairs at the back of viewer’s necks.
Storyline – split – first 75% of the movie – B+, and in the last quarter D- totalling a C. Without going into specifics (I do pride myself on not giving spoilers away), the LORDS‘ storyline drifts near the end. Zombie does bring it back on track, but it takes a bit.
70s/80s/90s star power - A+. I was surprised to see so many faces from film’s past. It added a level of fun to to movie I honestly didn’t expect. Patricia Quinn’s overly-opened eyes at key moment’s took me right back to her Magenta (RHPS) character and left me wanting to scream “Master, dinner is prepared” at the top of my lungs. A few of the faces you can expect to see include:
- Sheri Moon Zombie (House of 1000 Corpses, Halloween 2007)
- Bruce Davidson (V, Tales From the Darkside)
- Judy Geeson (Horror Planet, Monsters)
- Meg Foster (Leviathan, The Osterman Weekend)
- Patricia Quinn (Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hammer House of Horror)
- Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead 1978, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III)
- Dee Wallace (E.T. the Extra Terrestrial, Cujo, The Howling)
- Maria Conchita Alonso (The Running Man, Predator 2)
- Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes 1977, Weird Science)
- Sid Haig (House of 1000 Corpses, Galaxy of Terror)
- Lisa Marie (Ed Wood, Mars Attacks!)
- Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator, From Beyond)
Acting – B+. While there weren’t any award-winning performances in LORDS, the acting is solid and performances spot-on. Simply put, everyone’s a pro and the performances show it.
Special Effects - C. Why a “C,” you ask? Well, what little special effects were in the movie were either low budget and well done, or (probably) high budget and looked “very” low budget. Now, a caviat to this part of the review. LORDS really didn’t need much in the way of special effects.
Overall I’m forced to give it a B- because of the storyline drift and the unnecessary special effects…wow…I never, EVER thought I’d write that about a Rob Zombie movie.
Would I see it again? Yes, but only as a matinee movie.